Survivors Guilt and Failure are two words that are synonymous with losing but what if I told you that Guilt and Failure are just stepping stones to success.
Failure Breeds Creativity:
I personally enjoy the feeling of failure because it allows me an opportunity to grow and create.
When someone fails at something our human nature is to become more creative. If you think about it our failures and weaknesses as humans have lead to most innovations.
We as humans are not apex predators…we truly fail at being great individual hunters so we created large hunting groups and weapons.
When someone fails at a job or goal it should open up there creativity to solve that failure. When I fail at something…which happens a lot…I pep talk myself and say “ok man that did not work, how can you do it better”. I use a failure to start my brainstorming process.
What should you do when you fail?
- Acknowledge the failure. You must acknowledge the failure. no excuses, no but hmm, just own it. HAVE ONUS (means own it)
- Replay the failure in your head. I re-watch my failures like I’m a college football coach watching game tapes. Some people run from the mistake. REPLAY IT/ DON’T OBSESS.
- Brainstorm: what could you have done different. I THINK OPPOSITE. If it was a total failure. I want to go completely Opposite. If I write a blog post at night and it fails, while I’m wearing shorts, while eating. I will go opposite daytime, sweatpants, and starving. A little extreme but brainstorm what could you have done different.
- Attach: Some people fail and quit. NEVER QUIT. Remember that a failure is a stepping stone to success. ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK.
Acknowledge, Replay, Brainstorm, Attack
Guilt: The natural protective emotion
Remember that Guilt is a natural protective emotion. When I say natural protective emotion I mean that guilt guides us along or moral and ethic pathway. When we do something that is opposite of those morals or ethics we feel guilty. This guilt is natural and is very important for success. We must live by principles. When we feel guilty it is a way for our spirit to tell us we are going against our principles.
Self-Guilt: The Pack Theory
People can feel guilty when they fail but can also feel guilty when they succeed.
We as humans live in packs… also have and always will. We like to call our packs: families, friends, cliques…but it’s all a pack.
When I think of a pack I like to think of wolves…and the ole saying
” For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack”
Rudyard Kipling, The Jungle Book
This means that when we are apart of a pack we want to see everyone strong (successful). We judge our own strength off the strength (success) of our pack (family, friends, or clique).
When we become successful we believe it is our job to increase the success of everyone around us. When we cannot we create self-guilt.
This self-guilt can cause a decrease in our own success.
What should you do about this self guilt?
- Recognize that it is not your personal responsibility to increase the success of your pack.
- You are not turning your back on your pack if you cannot lift them to success.
- Remember that if you do not keep your cup filled you have nothing to share with others.
- Remember that being the example of success can be helpful to the pack. For the people in your pack that just needs to see success to become successful you are doing your part.
- Never feel guilty about your success because you earned it. The people that truly wanted to see you successful will be your biggest supporters.
- Use your guilt to guide your principles. If you ever break your core principles guilt should be a warning to correct your action.